May 6, 2010

Dear Friends,
Gary’s battle with brain cancer ended on Thursday, May 6, 2010 around 10:30 p.m. Miraculously, he was blessed with no pain during his 2 year, 8 month journey, which is remarkable for this disease. He was confident that he would meet Our Lord in Heaven and all of the wonderful people who have gone before him.

I have found this to be very comforting and hope you do too.

Thank you for your kind support during this time. I will miss him terribly, but he told me to:
1. Be Strong
2. Be Careful
3. Don’t walk like an old lady (so Gary)

Virginia

You can shed tears that he has gone.
Or, you can smile that he has lived.

You can close your eyes and pray that he’ll come back.
Or, you can open your eyes and see all he’s left you.

Your heart can be empty because you can’t see him.
Or, your heart can be full with the love you’ve shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday.
Or, you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember him and only that he’s gone.
Or, you can cherish his memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back.
Or, you can do what he would want . . . .
Smile, open your eyes, love, and go on.

Sad News

Dearest Friends,
It is with a heavy heart and tears in my eyes that I have to let you know that Gary's cancer has spread to another part of his brain. For 2-1/2 years he fought the fought bravely and valiantly against the ugly beast of brain cancer. Our quality of life has been extraordinary during this time as we have shared time with our family, friends, and heroic medical personnel.

We've got Hospice care now and will remain in our Southern California home. After 33 years of marriage to this wonderful man, I have to say that I continue to be madly in love with him as he is with me. He is at peace with life and has no regrets.

A dear friend brings us communion every day and he says the Lord's Prayer along with us. Knowing that he has come to love our Lord is a great comfort to us both.

I've repeatedly asked him what his wishes are for a memorial service and he says he doesn't want anything. He never liked to be the center of attention and says that he has said all of his goodbyes during this journey and feels peace in his relationships. We are honored to have so many wonderful friends in both La Quinta and in Bend that it would be hard to pick where a service would even be. Our immediate family will celebrate his life in July somewhere around his 70th birthday.

Thank you for caring and following our journey through this difficult disease. Please pray for him and know that he always felt "Life is Good".

Virginia

Fast Forward - Two More Months

The tumor remains the same size. For cancer, no change is really good news. He's been off chemo now for 2 months and is only on the miracle drug, Avastin. It has no side affects. We're so grateful for modern medicine. Gary continues with physical therapy and improves every month. His left vision will probably never return, but his quality of life remains to be an answer to prayer.

Seems strange to post on Gary's blog. It's as though it's an old fashioned way to communicate now that Facebook has found it's way in to our lives.

Fast Forward, 3 months later

Yesterday's MRI tells us that the tumor hasn't grown. The doctor was excited and we were disappointed. After having chemo and Avastin for 3 months every 3 weeks, we selfishly wanted the tumor to be gone. Alas, we need to be happy that the tumor isn't growing.

In actualality, Gary is doing much better and his quality of life has greatly improved with the wonderful physical therapist and vision therapist who continue to give us the tools to use to help him navigate and manage in the world.

This week will decide if we should continue with the chemo OR use the Avastin alone. Big decision. One thought is that we use all the tools we can while we have health care and the other is to have quality of life by using just the Avastin (vascular restrictor) alone which has very few side affects other than reducing the blood flow to the tumor.

The troubling news about health care has me very worried about what would happen to Gary's care if it passes. We wish we could see through what is truth and what is myth about health care, but it seems as if Senior Care might truly be reduced to an equation of what is one's life expectancy.

Thanks for caring.

Still Shrinking

Just a short update after our trip to Cedars Sinai this Thursday, May 6, 2009. Gary's MRI showed more decrease in tumor and cystic mass. Needless to say, we're thrilled and elated. You know things are getting better when they want to see you 3 months from now, not 6 weeks. So, he will continue with the chemo and the wonder drug, Avastin until October.

Gary's still very tired from the chemo and is doing a good job of rehabilitating. We'll continue with physical therapy in Bend for the next six months and hope to return to our desert home in November as a "new man". He's much like a stroke victim and needs to relearn how do do things, but he's doin' it.....slowly, but surely and sweetly.

Today, was an amazing day. We had the pleasure of sharing an afternoon with some of our former employees, reminiscing about the "good ole Impulse Technology days". What a joy it was to see the wonderful people who were so special in making our company such a great place to work. It's been about 20 years and everyone still has fond memories of our times together. It was a true joy to see them and I think they enjoyed seeing us and wishing Gary well. Wow. I'm still flying high.

I guess you've picked up that we snowbirds are flying north for our beloved Bend, Oregon friends and home.

Thank you for caring.

YIPPEE. Great News

Wow. We're soaring high with good news and knew that you devoted friends (bloggers) would like to hear it.

Yesterday's MRI at Cedars Sinai showed that the tumor has reduced in size approximately by 1/2 since the December MRI. Since I'm visual and to put it in to perspective, originally the tumor was the size of a golf ball and now it's the size of a plump, cherry tomato. Needless to say, we are overjoyed and grateful to this treatment plan for brain cancer of Avastin and CPT 11. Gary has had 9 chemo treatments so far.

More good news. The chemo schedule is being rescheduled from 2 weeks to every 3 weeks and the chemo dosage is being reduced by 20%.

More good news. Gary's anti seizure drugs are also being reduced which will help him immensely to have a better quality of life.

More good news. Gary has been blessed with Home Health Care Physical Therapy since we've been in the desert. They said he's doing too well for this to continue and will have to go to outpatient therapy. He's walking much better, but still needs a partner next to his left side. He's going to try driving a golf cart, but have to be very careful of his left vision deficit and peripheral vision. I've enlisted a buddy to help with this driving task.....

Thanks for caring. Thanks for the prayers. They are working.

Who's Counting???

Gary is accumulating days in the hospital as fast as frequent flyer miles. This week, he spent 4 nights in Eisenhower Medical Center with pulmonary embolisms, bringing his total to 44 days in less than a year. Apparently, cancer patients have issues with coagulation, which caused the embolism. After lots of consulting with docs, the solution is to thin his blood with daily shots. Works for me.

Nothing else new. He still looks wonderful and is in good spirits. Thanks for caring.