Tuesday, May 11, 2010

May 6, 2010

Dear Friends,
Gary’s battle with brain cancer ended on Thursday, May 6, 2010 around 10:30 p.m. Miraculously, he was blessed with no pain during his 2 year, 8 month journey, which is remarkable for this disease. He was confident that he would meet Our Lord in Heaven and all of the wonderful people who have gone before him.

I have found this to be very comforting and hope you do too.

Thank you for your kind support during this time. I will miss him terribly, but he told me to:
1. Be Strong
2. Be Careful
3. Don’t walk like an old lady (so Gary)

Virginia

You can shed tears that he has gone.
Or, you can smile that he has lived.

You can close your eyes and pray that he’ll come back.
Or, you can open your eyes and see all he’s left you.

Your heart can be empty because you can’t see him.
Or, your heart can be full with the love you’ve shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday.
Or, you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember him and only that he’s gone.
Or, you can cherish his memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back.
Or, you can do what he would want . . . .
Smile, open your eyes, love, and go on.
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Friday, April 23, 2010

Sad News

Dearest Friends,
It is with a heavy heart and tears in my eyes that I have to let you know that Gary's cancer has spread to another part of his brain. For 2-1/2 years he fought the fought bravely and valiantly against the ugly beast of brain cancer. Our quality of life has been extraordinary during this time as we have shared time with our family, friends, and heroic medical personnel.

We've got Hospice care now and will remain in our Southern California home. After 33 years of marriage to this wonderful man, I have to say that I continue to be madly in love with him as he is with me. He is at peace with life and has no regrets.

A dear friend brings us communion every day and he says the Lord's Prayer along with us. Knowing that he has come to love our Lord is a great comfort to us both.

I've repeatedly asked him what his wishes are for a memorial service and he says he doesn't want anything. He never liked to be the center of attention and says that he has said all of his goodbyes during this journey and feels peace in his relationships. We are honored to have so many wonderful friends in both La Quinta and in Bend that it would be hard to pick where a service would even be. Our immediate family will celebrate his life in July somewhere around his 70th birthday.

Thank you for caring and following our journey through this difficult disease. Please pray for him and know that he always felt "Life is Good".

Virginia
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Why now?

All is well, so why now?

Well, we have been extremely touched by the care and attention so many of you have showered upon us over the past 6 months (yes, this whole thing started 6 months ago, ie. 11/27/07). Throughout this time, we've had ups and downs and many of you have shared them with us and lifted us up with your love. When this first started, I sent out emails to our beloved prayer chain warriors, our faithful families and friends. Undoubtedly and unintentionally, people who care about both of us were missed.

As snowbirds, we have returned to our home in Bend, Oregon and we miss our "Southern Friends" who have done the same thing by going home to countless beautiful communities throughout the United States and Canada. This offers an opportunity to occasionally check on Gary's progress and post your comments.

My focus is Gary, so sometimes the phone call I "should" make to friends isn't made. I'll try to update this blogsite once a week to say hello and let you know how he's doing. Please don't hesitate to call us or check this blog from time to time and leave a comment.

We know that you worry about Gary and me and hope that this will give you some comfort.

Hope it works for you. Works for me.

We're sending our love to you through this blog. Please keep him in your prayers.

Virginia and Gary